where did you go?

do you remember when we were young?

if you were swinging at the same pace

as the person swinging beside you

it meant that you were "married"

maybe thats all we need

someone to swing with

someone who is at the same pace

where did you go?

via - I wrote this for you

Well then let them hate you

but let it be

because you are a good person in a bad world

and bad always hates good.

trainwreck tuesdays

just as soup should taste

today is sunday. happy mothers day.

so much of now is old and new.

my friends are getting older.

i am living in new ways.

with my body in the greenest grass,

i stared up at clouds for the first time,

for the first time since you.

now i lay with new.

new smells of cloves and perfume.

new asks me to sing her to sleep.

new is new.

my words never laid heavy into you.

now i plant them on a page.

today i made soup alone.

without you or new.

the soup was still hot. it was still red.

it tasted just as soup should taste.

life goes on without you.

we see it differently

myth vs. reality

poison apple

st. peter

reminds me of the day we spent in st. peters village. just less rocks and bees. i hate bees. we layed out on the rocks all day. we were barefoot. your shoes were in my bag. we packed water bottles and ate in that diner all alone. i hate being all alone.

A and B

the last song i'll write for you

I'm concrete on the floor, 

a smile cracking through 

we've both been lost before, 

we know it's nothing new  

so you'll smile sweet 

and push me to the ground 

then I'll hold you high 

like jewel on a crown  

and we'll both hold hands 

and you'll make demands 

like you do, just like you always do.  

You're a flower with a thorn 

you never tell the truth 

people come from far away 

to take a look at you  

and they'll wonder why 

you never make a sound 

and they'll hold you high 

like a jewel on a crown  

and they'll all hold hands 

and you'll make demands 

like you do, just like you always do  

So is he the one you love? 

the one you left me for? 

cause you're back to me again 

like time and time before  

will he take you back 

like a lover so proud? 

will he hold you high 

like jewel on a crown?  

will he hold your hand 

while you make demands? 

like you do, just like you always do.

Difference

“The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other.”

- Ashleigh Brilliant

= ILU

the cool points are out the window and I'm all twisted up in the game.

pretty much

Paper Route - "Absence"

I saw this band (Paper Route) open for Copeland.  They are absolutely incredible.  I was blown away by their live performance.  Check out their new album Absence and make sure to check out their video for the song "Carousel"  here

You and I are gonna get it right

Don't let me go

It takes two to make a leader but

One has to follow

Help me, help me understand

What we've become

I found a God who never seems to

Play the victim

On and on and on we go

Just like a carousel that's lost control

And we don't know why, we don't know why

We go and go and go in circles

Saved

this movie is twisted and amazing.

I want magenta

such is life

SUCH IS LIFE

I give. You hope.

Acceptance  -  "Phantoms"  -  2005

She starts feeling on her own
She makes the city seem like home
All you had for me is gone
I give and I give 
But you hope in return

monday

rain rain

go away

come again

another day.

Brief Self-Portrait

You hide your smile because you always want to be perfect for her.  You wish for crows feet around your brown eyes so, one day, people will know how much you laughed, how happy you were.  You never wanted to believe in luck or destiny, only to feel more in control.  Somewhere along the way, you got lost.  Your face became older and you don't have enough to show for it.  You keep your brown hair short because you hate your curls.  You surround yourself with friends who give too much and foes who cost too much.  You buy things you can't afford.  You wish you were taller so you find ways to be bigger than everything around you.  You are not bigger than everything.  The worst thing anyone can do is leave you alone.  One day, you will make a great father and a loving husband.  You will never leave the people you love most.  You watch everything, and, every so often, you see something.  

loving eyes - amen

Isle Au Haut, D. Nurkse

1
I spent that August in your mind
arguing with your thoughts,
proving to you the sea was salty,
the sun fiery—your no
I could undo by suffering,
your maybe was like twilight,
I could not counter it.

2
Flinty bluff with a bird
flying laboriously against a wind
we could not feel—how it tormented me
not to know the name:
osprey, merganser, jaeger …

3
We were so close we could communicate
just by the whine of a gnat, and sleep
only when the sea fell silent.

----------------------------------------------------------

This reminds me of last summer.  August was a hard month for us, but the beach always brought us back.  What is it about the ocean that pulls us in and washes us clean?  I think I am ready for the new year now.

Old Movies, Old Memories

I haven't seen this movie in so long, so I watched it today.  Now that I am older, the movie took on a whole new meaning.  

The soundtrack is amazing.