I need something to keep me warm.

lovestrong

You're so far away now
I cant talk to you
we don't meet in the places
that we always used to
I have everything I want
but I can't find love
I have everything I need
but you're all I think of

please don't look at me that way

All along, baby, all along
You were the heart
That was keeping me lovestrong
When we talk, baby, when we talk
You sing the song
That is keeping me lovestrong

Now we feel the hold of
seperate lovers hands
I want to burn the states between us
til there's nothing left
I won't move until you move
I won't laugh until you laugh
We just need to figure out
what is holding us back

but, you don't look at me the same

All along, baby, all along
You were the heart
That was keeping me lovestrong
When we talk, baby, when we talk
You sing the song
That is keeping me lovestrong

where did you go?

do you remember when we were young?

if you were swinging at the same pace

as the person swinging beside you

it meant that you were "married"

maybe thats all we need

someone to swing with

someone who is at the same pace

where did you go?

via - I wrote this for you

Well then let them hate you

but let it be

because you are a good person in a bad world

and bad always hates good.

trainwreck tuesdays

just as soup should taste

today is sunday. happy mothers day.

so much of now is old and new.

my friends are getting older.

i am living in new ways.

with my body in the greenest grass,

i stared up at clouds for the first time,

for the first time since you.

now i lay with new.

new smells of cloves and perfume.

new asks me to sing her to sleep.

new is new.

my words never laid heavy into you.

now i plant them on a page.

today i made soup alone.

without you or new.

the soup was still hot. it was still red.

it tasted just as soup should taste.

life goes on without you.

we see it differently

myth vs. reality

poison apple

st. peter

reminds me of the day we spent in st. peters village. just less rocks and bees. i hate bees. we layed out on the rocks all day. we were barefoot. your shoes were in my bag. we packed water bottles and ate in that diner all alone. i hate being all alone.

A and B

the last song i'll write for you

I'm concrete on the floor, 

a smile cracking through 

we've both been lost before, 

we know it's nothing new  

so you'll smile sweet 

and push me to the ground 

then I'll hold you high 

like jewel on a crown  

and we'll both hold hands 

and you'll make demands 

like you do, just like you always do.  

You're a flower with a thorn 

you never tell the truth 

people come from far away 

to take a look at you  

and they'll wonder why 

you never make a sound 

and they'll hold you high 

like a jewel on a crown  

and they'll all hold hands 

and you'll make demands 

like you do, just like you always do  

So is he the one you love? 

the one you left me for? 

cause you're back to me again 

like time and time before  

will he take you back 

like a lover so proud? 

will he hold you high 

like jewel on a crown?  

will he hold your hand 

while you make demands? 

like you do, just like you always do.

Difference

“The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other.”

- Ashleigh Brilliant

= ILU

the cool points are out the window and I'm all twisted up in the game.

pretty much

Paper Route - "Absence"

I saw this band (Paper Route) open for Copeland.  They are absolutely incredible.  I was blown away by their live performance.  Check out their new album Absence and make sure to check out their video for the song "Carousel"  here

You and I are gonna get it right

Don't let me go

It takes two to make a leader but

One has to follow

Help me, help me understand

What we've become

I found a God who never seems to

Play the victim

On and on and on we go

Just like a carousel that's lost control

And we don't know why, we don't know why

We go and go and go in circles

Saved

this movie is twisted and amazing.

I want magenta

such is life

SUCH IS LIFE

I give. You hope.

Acceptance  -  "Phantoms"  -  2005

She starts feeling on her own
She makes the city seem like home
All you had for me is gone
I give and I give 
But you hope in return

monday

rain rain

go away

come again

another day.

Brief Self-Portrait

You hide your smile because you always want to be perfect for her.  You wish for crows feet around your brown eyes so, one day, people will know how much you laughed, how happy you were.  You never wanted to believe in luck or destiny, only to feel more in control.  Somewhere along the way, you got lost.  Your face became older and you don't have enough to show for it.  You keep your brown hair short because you hate your curls.  You surround yourself with friends who give too much and foes who cost too much.  You buy things you can't afford.  You wish you were taller so you find ways to be bigger than everything around you.  You are not bigger than everything.  The worst thing anyone can do is leave you alone.  One day, you will make a great father and a loving husband.  You will never leave the people you love most.  You watch everything, and, every so often, you see something.  

loving eyes - amen

Isle Au Haut, D. Nurkse

1
I spent that August in your mind
arguing with your thoughts,
proving to you the sea was salty,
the sun fiery—your no
I could undo by suffering,
your maybe was like twilight,
I could not counter it.

2
Flinty bluff with a bird
flying laboriously against a wind
we could not feel—how it tormented me
not to know the name:
osprey, merganser, jaeger …

3
We were so close we could communicate
just by the whine of a gnat, and sleep
only when the sea fell silent.

----------------------------------------------------------

This reminds me of last summer.  August was a hard month for us, but the beach always brought us back.  What is it about the ocean that pulls us in and washes us clean?  I think I am ready for the new year now.

Old Movies, Old Memories

I haven't seen this movie in so long, so I watched it today.  Now that I am older, the movie took on a whole new meaning.  

The soundtrack is amazing.

I wish the world felt like this

With no secrets. No obsession. 
This time I’m speeding with no direction. 
Without a reason. What is this fire? 
Burning slowly. My one and only. 
Desire  

 -Ryan Adams

I could use a miracle

hoodies (i want one)

fall like a stone

today is thursday.  a day that was important.

so many late nights this week.  

new york, new jersey, new everything.

copeland was amazing. 

somehow, max and i made it to the front.  

true life:  i am a fangirl

today i'll breathe in the city air.

i'll check for a familiar face.

maybe we all take comfort in stolen objects.

The sun burns a hole straight through your old flaws
If you look toward the sky even on your greyest night
Could you be happy now, with the wind in your hair
And your eyes open wide and your feet going nowhere?
Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?

find me on them internets

night thoughts

Didn’t I see you when you thought you’d never stand out?

the in-betweens

Boo, Forever

Boo, Forever

Spinning like a ghost on the bottom of a top, I'm haunted by all the space that I will live without you. Richard Brautigan

Boooooly

"You aint gotta learn the alphabet to know that i'm a G."

-Lauren S.

goodmorning

there are times its nice to wake up before everyone else does.

on my grind.

thanksgiving in april

today is tuesday.  usually cleaning day.

i moved out of my house yesterday.

today i spent the day all over philadelphia.

estelles breakfast.  walnut shopping.  cosis lunch.

temple wheel of fortune.  capogiros dessert.

i am thankful for close friends and good food.

mmm.

"But now I feel changed around,
And instead falling down,
Im standing up the morning after.

Situations get fucked up

Turned around sooner or later"

-elliot smith

where have my mornings gone

reality bites

watched this last night. pretty good.

via sunshine monologue

bunny day, fair play

today is sunday. it is easter sunday.
my mom broke out her old record collection.
i spent the day eating food and enjoying family.
my niece and i played in the front yard.
easter egg hunts. sunshine. dogwood doorsteps.

last night i had dinner in the city.
it was so good to see her.
leaving phones in the car.
cold hands. true notes. bright lights. long talks.
the best night i've had in a while.
(even if she is ice cream greedy)

evergreen

But certainly any room
With a view of other windows
Must have doors that you can use
So you can be happy
For the first time in your life
Amen, it's your destiny
It can start any time
And maybe you'll find someone
To lay some roots down next to you
And be more like the trees
And less like the clouds
Stop moving around so much

-Ryan Adams, Cardinology (2008)

where we're

yes is a pleasant country:

if's wintry
(my lovely)
let's open the year

both is the very weather
(not either)
my treasure,
when violets appear

love is a deeper season
than reason;
my sweet one
(and april's where we're)

- ee cummings
1 x 1 [One Times One], 1944

blacking out the friction

Death Cab for Cutie - The Photo Album (2001)

eight

today is wednesday.  waking up in the city feels familiar.

i ate chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. 

orange juice and coffee.

first days of work are always fun.

i was always good at staying up late.

snacking and watching law and order.

sometimes time off is the best way to earn a living.

just like you, i won't say anything at all.

<8

Boom Dakka Dakka

sergeant syrup?

notes

every thing

today feels like autumn in spring.
riding my bike down walnut lane, i breathe deeply.
i close my eyes and remember.

its a strange feeling when old meets new
and you have nothing to lose.

every thing has a season.

no other life

Written By Gary Young - From his book “No Other Life”

"flying forward"

Heritage – it can mean many things, but in the fashion world it’s the buzzword of the moment.Take a brand that has history and tradition. Inject some freshness and collaborate with a hip artist. Formula – Success. One such example is the re-birth of Feiyue Shoes from Shanghai. Originally created in the 1920s, Feiyue became famous in the 30s for its association with the martial arts. Freiyue symbolizes the dual elevation of both body and mind. Feiyue actually translates to “flying forward”. Fast forward to 2005 and you have Patrice Bastian (a major sneaker freaker) who decided that these shoes could lend themselves to being the new item du jour. They were flexible and light by nature and had a great retro feel. With the services of graphic designer Charles Munka, the new image of Feiyue was created. It has since then gained momentum for being original yet classic and incredibly comfortable. Keeping up with the trends of today, you can choose between fresh, unadorned white, grey marle, artist prints or limited-edition designer styles. – Kate Vandermeer


A good book can be defined by being well used, cared for, shared with others and enjoyed. It is referenced often, stimulating conversation with those around you. The new label emerging from Canberra, Australia titled “Book Club” hopes to become as loved and timeless as a good book, getting better with age and encouraging a sense of belonging to the process upon each garment has gone through before reaching the final customers hands.

In the game of seduction, There is only one rule: Never fall in love

Cruel Intentions (1999)

i held so many people in my suitcase heart

today is sunday. we are trapped (literally) in a hotel in maine.
i am watching the patriot for the 80th time in my life.
it never gets old.
i think i might go swimming and work out with tony.
we leave tomorrow for home.
my suitcase and heart feel much lighter.
i needed this trip.


ps. we got totally played by a friendly's waitress...
courtney (wherever you are) i hope you read this and feel ashamed of yourself haha.

she moves in her own way

The Kooks album: "Inside In Inside Out" (2006)

I forgot how much I liked this album until I heard it playing in a Friendly's restaurant.

my girl

Site of the Night: USA Character Project

USA Character Project.

half of my heart

ugh... how does he do it?

"But to evolve you have to dismantle, and that means accepting the idea that nothing you've created in the past matters anymore, except that it brought you here.
To pick up your new marching orders." - John Mayer

say i am you

What can I compare you to, when everything looks like you?
I get a bit confused with every Spring
Flowers that bloom your eyes, hummingbirds side by side
My heart won't stay entirely in this rib caging

max downloaded this album today... could quickly become a favorite.

boston lights

today is friday. i spent last night in boston.
harvard has a beautiful campus. we ate awesome mexican food.
today we are at a hotel in maine.
i have never been to maine.
i always pictured a bunch of old fisherman walking around.
sometimes it's easy to forget how far you are away from home.
pizza party!

its in another universe

Listening to Ryan Adams "Cardinology"

everything slows down 

Somewhere in Connecticut

I am in the woods somewhere in Connecticut.  

It reminds me of this movie. 

Maybe I will ditch everybody and run away into the wild.

Live off berries and twigs.

talks with eli

what i love vs. who i love

what i need vs. who i need

what i do vs. who i do

selfish vs. necessary 

tell your friends, hey come on over and we'll talk

today is tuesday. our cleaning day.
i spent last night in the city with friends and cheap beer.
its nice to know people have the same worries that you do.
"if you’re not sure who you are, you’re not alone.
if you’re not sure what you want, you’re not alone.
if you’re not sure of life of love, you’re not alone."
i need to shower now.

freckles- i like em

quote of the day

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. — Der buddha man

don't hate cuz I speed skate

take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory,
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
and I will keep you there so you can't bother me